Hannalo

An Open Address to Some of My Favorite People on Facebook

To the girl who says that she’s falling in love in her status updates, then complains about the heartbreak of the break-up, then says her ex is an asshole, then says she’ll leave her personal business off Facebook, then talks about falling in love with a new guy and begins the cycle all over again:

Keep it up. That shit is gold and hella entertaining.

To the people who comment on my posts even though we’ve never actually hung out in person:

That’s a little weird, but thanks for the feedback.

To the dude who has an automatic feed showing how far he runs everyday and at what pace:

I couldn’t care less.  That being said, you’re kind of slow.

To the people who keep inviting me to their parties, shows, and other events in Chicago:

If we are not close enough for you to know that I don’t live there anymore, then we are not close enough for you to expect me to attend.

And, finally,

To the guy who scheduled a date with me, then stopped answering my emails when I tried to pin down a location for said date, then had the audacity a month later to try to become my “friend”:

Seriously?  Seriously. Those are some big ass cajones you got.  And the answer is “no.”